Few and Far

Since it's after 4 AM and I still can't get to sleep, I figured that I'd throw some of my thoughts down and start the process of clearing my head before my body sets out to do it the natural way.

-Tonight I finished my first night as GT. As GT, I'm responsible for the money of all four of the restaurants at our resort. That includes two bars, a food court, and a sit-down restaurant. I won't delve into how much exactly that is, but lets just say it's enough to stress over.

Of course, as my luck would have it, just about everything that could have went wrong, from the computers locking up when everyone was trying to bank out, to having to search for a decent chunk of money at the last minute, had happened. In the end, everything was ok (while I wasn't exactly on the dot when the money was tallied, it was close enough I guess). As my manager put it, "Well you've suffered the worse and now we know you can handle it." Why does it seem like I'm continously suffering the worse? Perhaps it's just my burden, or maybe I just find ways to make it my burden.

-On the homefront, things have gotten interesting. One of my roomates was fired, one was termed (kicked out), and one left on his own accords. This leaves our six man appartment with three rooms and three people. Of course, I dibbed up on the empty room and claimed it as my own. When new people arrive later in August, I'm sure they'll fill the empty spots and my old roomate will move into this one with me, but for now I have my own room, shower, two sinks, and a toilet. It's rather glorious. It took me an entire day off to clean it out and move in, but the privacy, nevermind the fact of its brevity, is worth it. Also, I'm having the HD projector mailed from home in about a week with plans to buy a surround sound system, so we should have a pretty sweet getup to boot.

-I'm quite excited that Football is starting up again, and even bought a Dallas Cowboys Jersey (Romo) in anticipation. I just hope I don't jinx the poor guy, as I really wish him the best, even if he doesn't stay with Dallas after this year. I think he'll do fine though and he doesn't seem very intent on being anything other than the QB of the Dallas Cowboys.

-Listening to a song by a certain band I've been listening to a lot lately, the line "I need to start to be myself// Because I'm sick of everybody else" really hits home. In the past two to three weeks since I last wrote in here, I've been for the most part my genuine self (with the exception of dealing with guests or infront of guests at work), and while I don't talk to a few certain people as much as I did when I was staying in character, I'm happy. The pressure of acting a certain way for the pleasure of a few isn't there any more. And quite frankly, fuck em'. This place is getting me homesick from time to time and this is one of the few things I can do to quell that feeling; act like myself. There are times where I feel like I'm by myself on another continent. I rarely hear conversations in English while I'm on the bus and even at work, English isn't commonplace. It makes it kind of hard to meet people as every time I go out with someone who doesn't speak english, our conversations are very generic and shallow. And while I'm not the deepest sea in the Ocean, I enjoy a rather engaging and heavy conversation from time to time.

-On top of that, of the few friends I have made, most of them are foreign and leaving in August. One girl in particular has pretty much best taste in music, has a cute accent, and is just down right gorgeous to boot. I'm still debating whether or not I should tell her how highly I think of her before she leaves. I'm not expecting anything of course, however this is a chance to tell someone how I feel and quite frankly I've never done that before outside of a situation I had engaged on those pretenses. Right now I'm banking on yes, why not? I have nothing to lose. I'm in Florida, living it up and looking to expand my horizons. Even if she has a significant other back home, she can go back and tell all her friends that there's a cute American boy back in the USA who adores her. At the very worst, she'll be offended, panic, and run away. I'll be momentarily hurt, but hey, life experience right? I don't think that one's happened to me yet!

-Other notable changes: I changed my hair again. Even though I know it won't stay like it for long, I stoppped giving a fuck and cut it short. I just leave the bangs down now.

That's it for now. I have two days off comming up so unless I do something totally sweet (not likely), I'll write up a story or two from my experiences here. I have quite a few of them.